Instigator Brand Beard Armor: 1513
In the year 1513, Juan Ponce de Leon discovers Florida, while searching for the "Fountain of Youth". 1513 is the "Fountain of Youth", for your beard!
Not enough time for manly stuff? Wood still needs chopping? Not enough time with your boys? Rebuilding a small block V8 motor? Lawn need mowed? Kids acting up? Garage in disarray? Boss wants you to work overtime? Overworked and underpaid?
Well; we can't help with any of that....
Beard Lacking Honor?
We can help with that. Once you crack open the bottle of Instigator Brand Beard Armor 1513, you'll notice a slight nutty aroma. Our exquisite blend of oils is sure to nurture, nourish, soften, and revitalize your beard back to a healthy stature.
WARNING: Side effects include, but not limited to: Increased manliness, super smooth beard no hair out of place syndrome, sexiness, beard admiration, request to move heavy objects, increased self confidence, increased charisma, and the ability to chop wood in excess speeds.
"Defend Your Beard's Honor"
Almond Oil, Avocado Oil, Argan Oil, Jojoba Oil
ALLERGY WARNING: Contains nut/tree oils. Do not use on open wounds. Discontinue use if irritation occurs. Store in a cool/dry place.