Key Lime Pie: Conch Republic Instigator Brand Beard Armor Balm

$17.99


Instigator Brand Beard Armor: Conch Republic 1oz Bottle and 2oz Balm with Twist Top Tin

On April 23, 2982; as a tongue-in-cheek secession, Key West withdrew from the United States as a micro-nation called Conch Republic. The US had set up Boarder Patrols to search any and all vehicles coming from Key West, which inconvenienced both residents and tourists alike.

The Mayor, who was proclaimed Minister, declared war on the US by breaking a loaf of stale Cuban bread over the head of a man dressed in a Naval uniform. He quickly surrendered after one minute and applied for One Billion dollars in Foreign Aid! The Conch Republic still celebrates Independence Day every April 23rd as part of a week-long festival.

We proudly present to you “Conch Republic”, a Key Lime Pie inspired blend. Enjoy the tart, invigorating scent of the Key Lime, with subtle, warm hints or buttercream topping, and graham cracker crust., sending your senses into a euphoric state of “Key West” bliss.

Packaged on a mini pallet that you keep, and use as a coaster!

"Defend Your Beard's Honor"


WARNING: Side effects include, but not limited to: Increased manliness, super smooth beard no hair out of place syndrome, sexiness, beard admiration, request to move heavy objects, increased self confidence, increased charisma, and the ability to chop wood in excess speeds.

Ingredients for Conch Republic Balm:
Acai Berry Butter, Hemp Oil, Coconut Oil, Almond Oil, Argan Oil, Bees Wax, Litsea Cubeba Essential Oil, fragrance
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ALLERGY WARNING: Contains nut/tree oils. Do not use on open wounds. Discontinue use if irritation occurs. Store in a cool/dry place.place.

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